A reMoveable Yeast

An itchy, sore vagina is no good to anyone and can really take the fun out of just about everything.  If you have never been diagnosed with a yeast infection you may want to go and see your friendly OB because the symptoms commonly associated with a yeast infection could be due to something more serious. But if you are only experiencing mild symptoms, or are quite familiar with your vagina’s response to a bumper crop of Candida albicans, you might want to try a few of these home remedies before you head over to the gyno.

Quickly: a few of the most common causes of yeast infections:

Antibiotics, anal sex, stress, your period, sex with someone who has a yeast infection (men can get them as well), sitting in a wet swimsuit/undergarments for too long (your vagina ought to be properly ventilated), and excesses (read: more than your usual amount) of beer or sugar might push you over the edge.

———-

As soon as you feel that familiar itch: 
Take the paper off of a clove of garlic and pop it up into your vagina.  I like to score the outer skin because I think it works faster (however this can be irritating to a really enflamed vulva).  You can leave the clove up there for several days although it is probably best to change it out every morning, it usually drops out when you pee if you push with your pelvic muscles.  (*Bonus: you may be able to taste the garlic in your mouth. I have no idea how this works but it does.)

For painful irritation: 
Buy some plain yoghurt, make sure it has active cultures and contains no sugar (sugar feeds the yeast).  Eating plain yoghurt may help bring the bacteria in your vagina back into balance but you can also take the cool, creamy stuff and apply it right to the problem to soothe irritation.  If you don’t do dairy or are particularly susceptible to yeast infections, you may just want to keep probiotics in pill-form in your fridge and take them regularly.

Slightly stronger medicine: 
I have used tea tree oil to knock out a particularly bad yeast infection. The oil is anti-fungal just like garlic.  Just dab a little on a piece of cotton and swab it on your labia majora.  This method can burn a bit on first application but it worked for me after about three days of tea tree and garlic. 

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor.  I have, however, suffered from my fair share of yeast infections and I have successfully cured them by these methods.

—By Cali Lindstadt

**This write-up first appeared in Vagina’s Winter 2013 issue. Treat yourself to a copy!

Turn Me On

Turn Me On

You forgot

Between a few caresses

Kisses that turn to lusty distress

To turn me on

And don’t get me wrong

I love sex

But that doesn’t mean I don’t love the rest.

How

After that deep sleep

Did you forget

That you forgot

To turn me on?

Read more

Suck My Dick

I often subscribe to the type of feminism in which, as long as women and men have the same choices and representation, I think that we’re moving in the right direction. For example, when people ask me:

 “Hey Basia, marrying four wives is totally kosher right?”

 I respond with:

“Did you really just say kosher? And yea, totally, as long as I can marry four life partners of my choosing.”

A surprisingly common conversation in my life. Anyway, this is the type of thought process I have been applying to certain English expressions that bother me. To balance out people using the phrase “suck my dick”, I was trying to spread the usage of “lick my clit” in response to gross offenses.

The more I contemplated this idea, though, the more I knew it just wasn’t right. Why on earth would I command someone who infuriates me to pleasure me orally? To get anywhere near sexual satisfaction, I need to know my partner is clearly and obviously enjoying the experience of being nuzzled down in my lady parts. Do I want them to choke and gag from the experience? No. Do I want them to walk away feeling violated and hurt? No. When I say “lick my clit” I want the natural response to be “Oh thank the Lord in Heaven above, those are the words I’ve been waiting for you to say all day.” Then please, proceed to go down on me with moans of pleasure and satisfaction.

So here’s a point I should have come to much earlier in my life: have we been ingrained in rape and dominance culture so long that “suck my dick” is a legitimate way to insult someone? An individual using such a phrase is perpetuating the idea that we can seek revenge or justice by violating someone in the mouth. It implies that sucking dick is naturally submissive and having one sucked puts someone in a dominant position. Can you really come to orgasm from someone unhappily gagging on your private parts? I hope not, so it might be time to rethink our insults and perhaps, sex lives. Or at least, as language and meaning develop and change, acknowledge the sometimes forgotten meanings behind well-established phrases.

And there you have it. I would like me and my body parts to remain far away from people I dislike. 

—By Basia Borodziewicz

**Basia’s editorial was featured in Vagina’s Winter 2013 issue, for sale here in our Etsy shop!