Vagina :: The Zine

No Strings Attached

So while reading the latest issue of one of my favorite glossy mags, Glamour, I stumbled upon an ad for the Instead Soft Cup. The ad showcased a slightly open door with the feet of a man and a woman in an intimate position. The tagline read, “12-hour leak protection so you can sleep. Or not.”

Wait, what?

I read on to learn about the Instead Soft Cup, touting itself as the “next generation of period protection that collects instead of absorbs.” The best part? Mess-free sex on your period. I had just started on a heavy round of aunt flow and I was at CVS buying a pack the next day.

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Freedom Of Whose Belief, Exactly?

We’ve seen a lot of business about birth control in the news recently. Some people think mandating insurance companies to pay for something that reduces the risk of cancer, regulates hormone problems, improves conditions such as anemia and ovarian cysts, and can be used as a contraceptive somehow impinges on the religious freedoms of organizations who are finicky about that “contraceptive” part. It’s a fair cop, I suppose—I understand why a Catholic University doesn’t want its insurance to be forced to cover something that goes against the Church’s beliefs.

On February 16, 2012, there was a congressional hearing that was “meant to be more broadly about religious freedom and not specifically about the contraception mandate in the Health Reform law”. In this hearing, however, the contraception mandate came up several times, and was viewed by the (male) witnesses on the panel as an attack on their religions. Despite this being a question of religious freedom, no one from the Catholic Health Association (which has women members and runs the Catholic hospitals this mandate would affect) or any Catholic Charity was invited. Darrell Issa’s reason for not allowing these witnesses—or one Sandra Fluke—was that “they were not members of the clergy.” Sorry, but shouldn’t non-clergy members of a religion still have a right to voice their opinion regarding their religious freedom?

But while we’re concerned with religious freedom (as we should be), and allowing the members of these religious organizations to act on their beliefs (which is their right), we don’t seem to be showing any concern for the beliefs of the women this reform will ultimately affect.

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Uncommon Commodities

By now you’ve read the Diva Cup rave review on our website. Here at Vagina, we have no qualms about discussing our time of the month. Since we’re no longer resigned to the red tent, there’s no lack of feminine hygiene options in our modern world. In a world of Etsy and Ebay, it’s no wonder we’re bombarded with product possibilities on a daily basis from people trying to make a buck in a flailing economy. There’s no end to what people think up, but whether or not they’re profitable is another matter entirely. Enter the inventors, the ones who have the sense to know there are two markets that will never (pardon the pun) dry out: toilet paper and feminine hygiene products. On the subject of the latter, there happens to be some bat shit ridiculous products out there specifically for the vagina. So Vagina has compiled a list of the most outstanding and bizarre items we’ve found so far.

Forget-Me-Not Panties

I’ll be honest, this might take the cake for me in terms of needless and creepy products. It’s basically GPS for your vag. If anyone needs a GPS to help find your vagina, I’m afraid they need more help than a pair of high-tech panties can provide. And please, if YOU can’t find your own vagina, seek help now. But more to the point, this seems like one more way for the patriarchal system to subjugate women further. The opening line on the website is: “Ever worry about your wife cheating?” It’s a modern-day chastity belt. Husbands and boyfriends can track you down at any time and place with these babies covering your privates. I bet Chris Brown buys one for every girl he bangs.

http://forgetmenotpanties.com/

Verdict: Totally unnecessary, rather stalkerish

Stellar Twist: Feminist irony to the max: It’s a hoax.

*****

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